Confessions – Wet Dreams

One lady explains a very embarrassing LOL confession and how she covered up her blushes.

 

A few weekends ago, my mates and I went out clubbing to celebrate the birthday of one of the girls in the group. After dancing the night away, the four of us went back to the birthday girls flat for even more partying. When we were partied out, we crashed at the flat, me taking the sofa as my bed for the night.

Although I’d been drinking a lot, I wasn’t overtly drunk but soon fell into a heavy sleep. In my dream I kept telling someone that I needed to go to the toilet, but they were constantly talking to me. When I finally made it to the bathroom, the relief of emptying my bladder was such a joy…until I woke up and realised that I’d wet myself and my friends settee.

I cleaned myself up as best as I could, then I woke my friend to tell her that her cat had peed on me. The poor little kitten got a scolding and was sent out onto the balcony. A couple of the girls teased me saying that I had really wet myself… If only they knew.

Hannah UK

Auntie Aura Says: Shame on you, Hannah, blaming the cat! That will teach you to empty your bladder before going to sleep and your dream is not uncommon, many children and adults dream they are on the toilet and end up wetting themselves.

How To Avoid Paying TV License

TV tax, TV licence. TV license. If tourists vi...

TV tax, TV licence. TV license. If tourists visit Britain, this is what their dollars will be supporting. “Webb added that the BBC treated America with scorn…” (Photo credit: Sir Garlichad)

Auntie Aura loves a LOL confession.  Read on to find out how this man avoids paying his TV License 

To avoid paying the ridiculous TV license fee, whenever their officers call around my house I tell the that I’m a Jehovah’s Witness and therefore, don’t watch television. They ask if they can come in to inspect, but without a warrant, have no right to. I always ask them if they’d like to read my bible…they soon clear off.

Tony*, Leeds UK

Auntie Aura Says :- Love your LOL Confession. The TV license is a strain on pockets but I don’t think I could be as brave as you to carry out such a lie. I think some Jehovah’s Witnesses do watch TV, though not many.

* Names changed to protect identity.

Follow Auntie Aura on Twitter @AuntyAura or email your confessions to Auntyaura@live.com

Rastaman Eats Pork

In Confessions Corner Benjie reveals his love for pork, even though he’s a devoted Rastafarian.

 

Rastaman with thick dreadlocks, though he has ...

Rastaman with thick dreadlocks, though he has piercings, which may go against the teachings in Leviticus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I became a Rastafarian nearly three years ago and although I’m loyally dedicated to my religion, I’m struggling to give up pork. I don’t eat it regularly but I love my mother’s pork dinners and my smoky bacon crisps. My fellow brothers of Rastafari think I am doing well in my conversion and often tell me I’m doing good by Jah but if they knew I still ate pork they would run me.

My girlfriend calls me a hypocrite and says I’m disrespecting Jah but I follow every way of my beliefs apart from my eating habits so I really don’t feel that I’m doing wrong, although I don’t want to be found out.

Benjie, Peterborough, UK

Auntie Aura Says :- Benjie, I never interfere with people’s religious beliefs but Rastamen eating pork is a “serious ting”. God, Jah, whoever, sees us every minute of our lives and is the only person fit enough to judge us. Just don’t let the brothers see the pork scratchings.

Pork rind

Pork rind (Photo credit: Wikipedia)