The Things Men Say

It’s been a long time coming… After Bad Housewive’s Confess, it was time for the guys to reveal all to Aunty Aura. Cheating, lying, stealing and more. Read on to find out what Aunty Aura heard in the confession box.

confessions black

“I once managed to have sex with a girlfriend, her sister, her friend plus copped a blow job from another girl, all within 12 hours… But those were my playa days. I’m totally committed to the girl I’m with now”. – Ayon, 29, Manchester, UK.

AUNTY AURA SAYS : – Your poor ex-girlfriend.

Karl's "bad" news got him out of a tricky date.

Mark’s “bad” news got him out of a tricky date.

“In the middle of a bad 1^st date, I told the girl a family member had been involved in a serious car accident and I was needed at the hospital. I left her to pay the restaurant bill, changed my mobile number and thankfully haven’t seen her again as we live in different towns.” – Mark, 23, UK

AUNTY AURA SAYS : – Tut tut, lying about a car accident is just wrong and how ungentlemanly of you to desert your date in that fashion.

“I don’t love my girlfriend, but I love her money”. – Antz, Detroit, USA

“I’ve been sleeping with my daughters lesbian partner behind her back and now she’s pregnant.” – Terry, 47, Birmingham, UK

AUNTY AURA SAYS : – You BAD dad, Terry.

“I’ve just blown my Student Allowance on partying and computer games so I told my parents I got robbed. Rent for my digs, sorted”. – Carl, 19, Uni student, UK

Stealing to fund his drug habit.

“Over the past few months, I’ve swiped (stolen) almost a grand from my workplace to fund my drug habit. The boss suspects my co-worker and has been making his life hell, hoping to find proof so he can sack him“. – CJ, 37, London, UK

AUNTY AURA SAYS : – It’s going to end badly when the truth outs. And it will.

https://plus.google.com/117521191475683392526/posts/76arzoUQZjE

“My girlfriend and I are supposed to be saving up to move into a rented property this summer. She’s gonna totally flip when she finds out I’ve blown most of my savings on a lads holiday to Ibiza.“ – Toby, 30, UK

“I was born with two penises.” : – Jay, UK

Groin strain or STD?

“I told my girlfriend I got groin strain after a rugby game. However, the real reason I can’t have sex with her is because I caught chlamydia of a girl I had a fling with.” – Ryan, 21, Somerset, UK

“I had sex with a prostitute who so happens to know my wife’s family. Now she’s blackmailing me to keep her quiet.” – Dave, 37, Wolverhampton, UK

AUNTY AURA SAYS : – Tell your wife. Say it was a weak and pathetic moment you truly regret, otherwise this prostitute will have you by the wallet, and the balls forever. Trust me.

“I stabbed myself in the leg last week so I could get out of going to my girlfriend’s birthday party. I love her but I can’t bear to be around her pompous family and her fake friends.” – Gary, 35, UK

AUNTY AURA SAYS : – Drastic measures Gary. Painful and not smart.

Image Source: http://www.redalertlive.com

“When I’m at home alone without the Mrs and the kids… I like to wear her underwear and post pictures of myself online. Anonymously, of course. Turns me on a treat.” – Alex, Manchester, UK

As it was written, it has also been proved that women are smarter than men. Men can say the funniest, strangest and craziest things at times, leaving us females wondering…if they’re really “all there”. Read this crazy bloke quote.

Two young guys in their early twenties were talking about the art of conception when one guy said to the other “…is it true then that when a woman gets pregnant with twins, it means the bloke came [ejaculated] in her twice on the same night?”.

Auntie Aura Says: Only a man could say something like that.