Jealous Of My Boyfriends Bromance With My Ex

Mummy Shauna is grateful that her ex and her boyfriend aren’t at each others throats, but their bromance is making her feel annoyed and slightly neglected. 

Dear Auntie Aura,

I know I probably shouldn’t be complaining, but the bromance between my ex partner and present boyfriend is driving me cuckoo. My ex and I split over two years ago but he remains a part of my life as we have two children together. When I first started dating my boyfriend, my ex was a bit standoffish and arrogant towards him. My boyfriend, who also has children from a previous relationship, put it down to my ex having fears about another man being around his kids and muscling in on his role as their dad. I don’t know the full conversation that took place between them shortly afterwards, but since then they’ve become firm friends. They go on weekend trips with all the kids, go out socially, call and message each other almost every day. I’m grateful they get along, but I sometimes feel like my ex is the third person in my relationship. I get along with his girlfriend but I don’t want to be her best mate. If I have an argument with my boyfriend, I don’t need my ex knowing or giving advice about it and I can certainly do without him calling my fella just as we’re about to get intimate. My ex is around us so much that even holding hands or giving my boyfriend a cuddle feels awkward in front of him. When I talk to my boyfriend about the situation, he just laughs my frustration off and says I should be grateful that my ex is mature enough to accept him and that their friendship is positive for my kids. I agree to a certain extent and I know he’ll always be a part of my life, I just wish it wasn’t so much. I actually get jealous sometimes because I feel my ex knows my boyfriend more than I do. Am I wrong to feel like this?  – Shauna, 35

Dear Shauna,

There are many women who’s exes won’t even let them move on with a new partner that would love to be in your position right now. However, you are not wrong for feeling a little overpowered by your exes presence in your relationship. To demand any drastic changes ie; they stop socialising together unless it involves the children, would only cause unnecessary friction. Your boyfriend should not be answering any calls unless they are emergency calls when you and he are having intimate time so you need to check hi on that issue. As for feeling awkward to displaying affection in front of your ex, that could be your problem. You’ve both moved on and settled in relationships, your past with him is history, so kissing your boyfriend or giving a little tap on his ass should not feel awkward. Maybe you should do it more often and your ex might take a hint and leave you be but don’t let his presence hold you back. Also try not to be the third wheel just hanging about or left alone when they’re hanging out. Go out with your own friends or have them over so your time and thoughts are not so occupied seething over what your boyfriend and ex are doing. Please, however annoyed you feel, try and remain positive about your situation, just enjoy the harmony and let your boyfriend know that it is ok to say “no” to your ex sometimes, so he can spend more time with you.

Aunty Aura

Confessions Corner – Women Reveal Why They Stay With Cheating Partners

I frequently come across people who have been cheated on and a majority of the emails I receive are from a wronged party in turmoil over their partners infidelity. Not every cheat is always a cheat and some relationships can survive an affair, but it seems that the lack of respect in relationships now is highly rife (and I’m not just talking about the fellas). In today’s society, being cheated on is almost expected in couples with many spouses turning a blind eye to it. Here in this Confessions Corner post, women reveal why they they have chosen to stay in a relationship after being cheated on.

“In his younger days, my husband cheated on me more times than I’ll ever truly know about. I stayed with him because he was my husband and I believe in the vows of marriage. I’ve never confronted him about his affairs and he’s never flaunted them in front of me. We’re both in our late fifties now and I do believe the philandering has stopped. We have a stable marriage with children and grandchildren and an active sex life. I love him dearly but the pain and anger I went through alone will always haunt me.” – Kaye, 58

“I’d been cheated on before in a previous relationship, so when I found out my present boyfriend was hooking up with girls from dating websites for sex kicks I went ballistic and threw him out of our flat. I let the whole world know on Social Media that he was a dirty scumbag and shamed him to both our families, who sided with me because I’d been a loyal and supportive girlfriend to him for over three years. After months of him grovelling, crying and promising to never slip up again, I took him back. I made him get tested for STDs and demanded he got rid of all dating apps on his phone. I’ve still not fully forgiven him and I’ll never forget but eight months after everything blew up, we’re in a good place. I believe he’s sorry for messing up and knows if he ever cheats on me again, it’s over. For good..” – Abi, 24

“My husband went on a lads holiday and came back with gonorrhea, which to this day, I still believe caused my miscarriage at the time. I hated him for a long while afterwards but knew I didn’t want to be with anyone else and couldn’t bare the thought of him being with someone else either. With all the stress, especially losing the baby, we had professional counselling and I accepted his holiday fling was an act of immaturity and male bravado. We now have two healthy boys and I trust that he’s 100% faithful to me. The pain of the miscarriage will always cloud over us but I’m so glad I didn’t throw our marriage way because of a laddish mistake.” – Chloe, 28

“I stayed with my cheating boyfriend because I was so invested in problems within my family I neglected his sexual and emotional needs. We did initially split after I found out but got back together on the condition he would end his fling with no contact with the woman ever and I would put more of an effort into his feelings and concentrate less on my family. Five years later we’re stronger than before and I trust him completely. Sometimes women do have to share the responsibility when their partners cheat. If you don’t give them the attention they need, of course they’re going to look for it elsewhere.” Vee, 32

“I fell in love with a player hoping his love for me would make him change his ways. He does love me and I do get treated like a Queen, but a player will always be a player. I’d be lying to myself if I said that his sleeping around didn’t bother me, no woman wants to be cheated on but I do love him. Our sex life is the best, he’s very attentive and pleasing and despite all of the other side chicks, he always comes home to me. I’m the mother of his child, I’m a part of his family, I live in his house and he trusts me enough to handle his money. He may be playing me, but I know I’m special to him.” – Tianna, 24

“I played dumb to my partner openly sleeping around because I truly loved him, believed the bullshit excuses he fed me with and thought our impending marriage (to allow him to live in the UK) would make him respect me more. My friends advised me to get out of the relationship, insisting that he was only using me for a Visa but I was so blinded by love and determined to prove them wrong that I went ahead and married him anyway. The cheating continued, even on our wedding night. I was getting verbal abuse and into fights with these random girls he was spinning his cock and bull to, I quit my job to be with him more and altered my appearance to keep him happy in the hope that he would stop cheating. Reality kicked in a few months into the marriage when a long time friend of mine revealed she was carrying his baby. The betrayal of them both was too much to ignore and his gloating about making an English baby was a kick in the heart. It wasn’t easy getting him out of my life as he demanded I remained committed to the marriage and he and my friend tried to emotionally blackmail me stating that my jealousy over the child was why I wanted out and how the kid would grow up without a father if he got sent back home to his birth country. With a good solicitor, I managed to get a quick judicial separation, before finally filing for divorce and with the support of my real friends and family I fixed my life up, went back to work and spent more effort loving myself. I’ve been with my current bloke for nearly a year now. I trust him but I’m taking this relationship at a much slower pace. As for my ex; he and my friend had a baby boy. She wanted to marry him but as she doesn’t work and has no savings it couldn’t help his immigration status. He did find another woman for a convenient marriage, but in the lead up to the event, he was arrested for drug dealing and deported out of the country. Rumour has it that there’s another kid from a different woman for him here. Looking back, I’m glad that he got my friend pregnant because had it just been some random girl, I probably would’ve forgiven him and stuck in a marriage that would’ve caused me extra grief.” – Rebekah, 26

“Pretty soon after getting with my man, I had suspicions he was cheating. Turned out he had a woman and kid on the other side of town and I was the side piece. Twelve years later with five kids between us, my fella has two families that know about the other, accept it and the situation suits us all. It’s not an ideal family set up and certainly not what I had in my plans when I fell in love with my guy, but me and the other woman respect each other, our kids have grown up together and are loved, happy and well behaved. In the mix of the community where I live, most men are sleeping around, having kids all over the place and leading a life of constant drama. I know where my man is when he’s not with me, my kids know their siblings and when he is with me it’s all good, so I’m cool.” – Ann-Marie, 37

“My husband has been having an affair with his PA for over four years. I hate him for it but stay with him for the sake of our kids and to save face. To have my family and social circle know that he’s playing around would crucify me. I’m a mother of four relying totally on my husbands income to live the comfortable life I lead. We haven’t had sex in three years because there’s no love there for either of us. He doesn’t want a costly divorce and I don’t want to give up the perks of being a kept housewife or my kids suffering the fallout from us splitting. I also refuse to give his PA the satisfaction of setting him free. Me and my husband are cordial to each other, he’s a brilliant dad and I have all the perks of being financially taken care of but he just can’t be faithful” – Coleen, 42

***Calling out to the guys!  Have you ever forgiven or are you currently with a partner that has cheated on you? Share your view in the comments or email auntyaura@live.com

#Aunty Aura – Men’s Secret Confessions

It’s been a long time coming…  After Bad Housewive’s Confess, it was time for the guys to reveal all to Aunty Aura.  Cheating, lying, stealing and more.  Read on to find out what Aunty Aura heard in the confession box.

 

“I once managed to have sex with a girlfriend, her sister, her friend plus copped a blow job from another girl, all within 12 hours… But those were my playa days. I’m totally committed to the girl I’m with now”. – Ayon, 29, Manchester, UK.

AUNTY AURA SAYS : – Your poor ex-girlfriend.

Mark’s “bad” news got him out of a tricky date.

“In the middle of a bad 1^st date, I told the girl a family member had been involved in a serious car accident and I was needed at the hospital. I left her to pay the restaurant bill, changed my mobile number and thankfully haven’t seen her again as we live in different towns.” – Mark, 23, UK

AUNTY AURA SAYS : – Tut tut, lying about a car accident is just wrong and how ungentlemanly of you to desert your date in that fashion.

 

“I don’t love my girlfriend, but I love her money”. – Antz, Detroit, USA

“I’ve been sleeping with my daughters lesbian partner behind her back and now she’s pregnant.”  – Terry, 47, Birmingham, UK

AUNTY AURA SAYS : – You BAD dad, Terry.

“I’ve just blown my Student Allowance on partying and computer games so I told my parents I got robbed. Rent for my digs, sorted”. – Carl, 19, Uni student, UK

Stealing to fund his drug habit.

“Over the past few months, I’ve swiped (stolen) almost a grand from my workplace to fund my drug habit.  The boss suspects my co-worker and has been making his life hell, hoping to find proof so he can sack him“. – CJ, 37, London, UK

AUNTY AURA SAYS : – It’s going to end badly when the truth outs. And it will.

https://plus.google.com/117521191475683392526/posts/76arzoUQZjE

“My girlfriend and I are supposed to be saving up to move into a rented property this summer. She’s gonna totally flip when she finds out I’ve blown most of my savings on a lads holiday to Ibiza.“ – Toby, 30, UK

“I was born with two penises.” : – Jay, UK

Groin strain or STD?

“I told my girlfriend I got groin strain after a rugby game. However, the real reason I can’t have sex with her is because I caught chlamydia of a girl I had a fling with.” – Ryan, 21, Somerset, UK

“I had sex with a prostitute who so happens to know my wife’s family. Now she’s blackmailing me to keep her quiet.” – Dave, 37, Wolverhampton, UK

AUNTY AURA SAYS : – Tell your wife. Say it was a weak and pathetic moment you truly regret, otherwise this prostitute will have you by the wallet, and the balls forever. Trust me.

“I stabbed myself in the leg last week so I could get out of going to my girlfriend’s birthday party. I love her but I can’t bear to be around her pompous family and her fake friends.” – Gary, 35, UK

AUNTY AURA SAYS : – Drastic measures Gary. Painful and not smart.

Image Source: http://www.redalertlive.com

“When I’m at home alone without the Mrs and the kids… I like to wear her underwear and post pictures of myself online.  Anonymously, of course. Turns me on a treat.” – Alex, Manchester, UK

 

 

ADVICE – My Boyfriend Is Back On Drugs

Single mum Valerie thought she had found the love of her life, until he turned back to his heroin addiction.  Aunty Aura helps her decide whether the boyfriend should stay or go.

Image Source : http://www.pixabay.com

Dear Aunty Aura,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year and we’ve been living together for 8 months. I knew he had a drug abuse history at the start of our relationship but as he had been clean for a number of years, thought it was in the past. A few months into us living together, I noticed sharp mood swings in him, especially with my children [from a previous relationship]. I put it down to the stresses of other people’s kids, knowing my own can be a handful at times. When items from our home and cash from my purse went missing, I agreed with my boyfriend that my teenage son was the culprit. My boyfriend works, earns a good wage so I never suspected him for a moment, until I found evidence of his drug use in the garage a couple of weeks ago. At first he denied it, then he blamed me and my kids for his relapse and then came the apologies, tears, promises to get help and declaring his love for me. I feel for him, I love him but I’ve never had dealings with a drug addict before and I can’t cope with the war that’s exploded because of it. My kids want to live with their dad because they’re scared of my boyfriend. My ex is threatening to report us to social services and my boyfriend is depending on me to be his crutch whilst he sorts himself out, although he hasn’t actively seeked professional help yet, and is still taking heroin. I don’t want to lose my kids or him.

Valerie, UK

Valerie

Neither yourself or your kids were supplying drugs, nor forcing them down your boyfriends throat, so he has no right blaming you. He makes his own choices. You love this guy, but your kids are your priority. They’re entitled to feel safe in their own home and be in the care of responsible adults. You’ve falsely accused your son of stealing which will have put a strain on your relationship with him. You can’t expect your kids not to have issues with the wrong doings of your boyfriend just because you love him. Personally, I would say he’s got to go, until he receives treatment and see how things go from there. You can still support him, but his drugs and the behaviour that stems from his abuse cannot be in your house or around your children. With drug users you have to be tough. Say what you mean and follow through. If he really loves you and wants help with his addiction, he’ll do his best to get there. By allowing him to still use in your home, until he decides when to seek help is giving him a crutch, which he will use to guilt trip you and take the guilt of himself and things will only get worse. Get tough, let him prove himself and you focus on your kids.

Aunty Aura

CONFESSIONS – Niece Discovers Auntie’s Private Toy

It’s always wise to keep your sex toys/vices well out of sight and reach whenever little eyes are about, as this confessioner found out

Dear Aunty Aura,

A couple of weekends ago I had my eight year old niece stay over with me. As much as I love her to bits, she is a very forward and inquisitive child for her age. As I cooked dinner, she played in my spare bedroom, dressing up in old clothes I didn’t wear no more. When she came into the kitchen in a pair of worn out stilettos waving my bullet vibrator in her hand, I almost collapsed with horror.

“What’s this for?”, she demanded to know. I told her it was a massager for my stomach when I had bellyache.

“Oh! Like when you have a period?”, she stated. When I confirmed it was, she said. “I hope I never have to use one”. I hope she never has to, and I’m also praying she doesn’t tell a soul about what she found either.

AUNTY AURA SAYS: Wow! Your quick thinking spared your blushes, but maybe you should keep your adult toys way out of sight for the next time your niece stays over.

 

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ADVICE – Help! I Think I’ve Got A STD

Troubled teen Sasha asks Aunty Aura for advice, fearing she has caught a Sexually Transmitted Disease.

DEAR AUNTY AURA,

I have been seeing my present boyfriend for almost two months and recently I’ve noticed a creamy yellow discharge from down below. When I told my boyfriend he said that “whatever I caught”, wasn’t from him and must be from my ex, as the symptoms take a while to show and he’s never caught anything before.

I’m too embarrassed to go to a sex clinic and even more horrified to talk to my doctor. My friend said it sounds like I’ve got gonorrhoea and she knows someone who can gets pills to treat it. Can you really buy medication without seeing a doctor? And my boyfriend says it’s safe for us to have sex with a condom, but I don’t feel comfortable with all this stuff coming out of me.

Sasha, 18, West Midlands, UK.

Image from a medical journal showing symptoms of gonorrhea

AUNTY AURA SAYS:   Sasha, you need to get yourself to a sexual health clinic ASAP. Your symptoms may sound like gonorrhoea but you need someone medically trained in STDs to confirm it. It won’t go away on its own and popping pills from a friend could make you ill, as well as not clear the infection. Ten minutes of embarrassment is a far deal better than a lifetime of misery.

I hate to say it, but your boyfriend sounds like a plonker. Whether he passed this “STD” to you or not, if you weren’t using condoms at the start of your relationship, its pretty likely he has it too. Also, why on earth would he want to continue sex whilst your infected and uncomfortable? Any decent boyfriend would’ve supported you and escorted you to the clinic. You’re a young adult and probably love his socks off, but I think you should re-evaluate your relationship. But please, please get yourself checked out by a professional. The quicker you do, the quicker you can get back to normality.

And WHEN you do get treated, do not have sex again with your boyfriend until he himself gets checked and treated as the infection will only spread back to you again. The doctors and the nurses will also give you any further advice you need. It’s free, so use it.

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WOMEN – Bad Housewives Confess

When housewives have something to get off their chests, who do they talk too?  Aunty Aura, of course.  Fantasy threesomes, spending sprees, revenge on mother-in-laws and loads more confessions hidden from their partners right here in Confessions Corner.

Image Source ; http://www.clipartof.com

“I’ve always fantasised about having a threesome with my boyfriend and his best mate. Together, they’re the funniest pair of jokers and I love a man that makes me laugh… I wouldn’t want them touching each other though, only me”. – JODY, 32, mum of three, in a relationship (7 years)

“My husband doesn’t know that I’m an illegal immigrant living under a false identity. I entered the UK, illegally, from the West Indies eight years ago and had to assume a new identity after I overstayed. In reality, our marriage isn’t even real, but I do love him though. Honestly” – SHANA, 30, married (5 years) mum of two.

AUNTY AURA SAYS : You love him! That’s a good thing, I guess.

“I’ve been sleeping with my husbands brother on and off for almost ten years. My husband is caring and generous, his brother is an arrogant pig who’s a stud in bed. I don’t feel guilty but I never want the truth to come out as it would tear our families apart” – LYNETTE, 36, married (12 years) mum of three.

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“My partner likes a tidy house. I hate housework, so I pay a neighbour to do all my chores when my husband is at work” – VANESSA, 30, mum of two, in a relationship (8 years).

AUNTY AURA SAYS : Thank God for great neighbours!

“I hate my boyfriends mother so much, I spit in her coffee every time I make her a cup. She’s an evil, manipulative cow who can’t accept the fact her son loves any other woman but her”. – JULES, 27, two kids and expecting, on/off relationship (4 years)

“I told my fiancé I was working late last weekend. I actually went to meet my ex, who my fiancé loathes. I didn’t have sex with him, but we did have one last goodbye snog” – HANNAH, 23, no kids, engaged (18 month relationship)

AUNTY AURA SAYS – I hope it was a goodbye snog.

“I ‘borrowed’ my mans credit card to buy a pair of shoes online (£200). I’m dreading when he receives his bank statement. I told him they were only £50” – SIOBAHN, 26, in a relationship (9 months), 2 children from previous relationship.

 AUNTY AURA SAYS : Ooops! A girls just got to have gorgeous shoes though, hasn’t she?

“My baby father doesn’t know that our youngest child isn’t really his. Nuff said!” – NICOLE, 29, mother of 3, in relationship (8 years).

COMING SOON… Men’s confessions. Are you a man keeping a secret from your wife/girlfriend? Email Aunty Aura auntyaura@live.com with your confession, putting MAN TALK in the subject box. Don’t worry, it’s all confidential and your real name won’t be published.

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